Aerial over Hill Inlet, Nikon D800, 24-70mm, f4 @ 1/5000 second, ISO 800.
Michelangelo (not his real name) was awash. It lasted just a second, but the experience left him wet, damp and slightly uncomfortable. How did this happen? And what does it have to do with Elle Macpherson and a turbo-charged Dyson hand dryer? Read on and all will be explained.
It felt worse than it looks, but the white water on the left gives it away - it was a tad rough!
It’s an early Tuesday morning and photographers from the Away Hamilton Island Photography Workshop are boarding their boats for a trip to the magical Whitsunday Island. Each vessel comfortably seats around 20 people and on a normal morning, it would take 30 minutes to reach Whitehaven Beach, home of the whitest sand in the world.
However, this was no normal morning. There was a strong southerly blowing and a heavy swell out to sea, so the only access to Whitehaven Beach would be the long way, around the back of the Island. Even then, the last stretch down to Whitehaven Beach might be too rough for the boats, but the only way to find out was to go and see.
Nearly an hour later, the radio crackled. The captain of the second boat announced he was turning back because he felt the short swell waves were too rough, but the captain of the lead boat replied he would continue a little further.
His reply, however, was cut short as a large green wave crested and broke on the boat’s bow, swamping the crew and passengers, a wall of water pushing down the length of the deck, soaking everything in its wake. Okay, so this is a slight exaggeration, but for Michelangelo up the front of the vessel, it did wet his pants. And his Elle Macpherson underpants.
Michelangelo has a problem with damp underpants. It’s unclear whether this was due to a missed career in marine biology or a traumatic childhood experience, but he spent the rest of the trip in silent discomfort. He longed to be like the rest of the passengers, dry, happy and carefree, enjoying their photography in the remarkable Whitsundays. But all he could think about was changing his underpants.
A couple of hours later the photography group returned to the architect designed Hamilton Island Yacht Club and invited to rest in the exclusive Members’ Library at the top of the stairs. When we arrived, a lone yachtsman was sitting in a low chair, looking out over his iPad at the expansive view up the coast. Unfortunately for him, his sanctuary was about to be disturbed.
The photography group filed in and opened their lunches.
This is the actual Dyson hand dryer that met the Grand Master's Elle Macpherson underwear.
Michelangelo quietly retired to the men’s bathroom.
Now I am surmising what happened next as I wasn’t there. However, after exercising correct hand hygiene, it struck Michelangelo that the powerful Dyson dryer could be used for something else. Michelangelo quickly slipped out of his trousers and Elle Macpherson underpants. Then, holding the underpants vertically, dipped them in and out of the Dyson hand dryer.
So far so good, but unfortunately for Michelangelo, the lone yachtsman from the library entered the bathroom. One wonders what he thought when he saw Michelangelo standing next to dryer.
One could say it was a grand master exposed.